“When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” – Molly McGee
Being a good husband can be a challenge, especially if a man has been single for a long time, but it can be done. Most men are selfish with out even trying to be, but a man can learn to be a giving, loving partner and to think about someone else besides himself. Single guys turn into sharing husbands and fathers every day, so it’s a matter of how much you want to be a good spouse.
Being a Married Man
At the same time, a marriage is a lot of hard work. You have to be consistent, loving and dependable, while keeping the marriage fresh. Marriage is a partnership between two people with different histories and different ideas about life, so just about any marriage is going to add adventure and excitement to your life. When two very different people find a way to wed their ideas into one family, this fusion creates something dynamic and sublime.
When learning how to be a good husband, here are a few suggestions:
Don’t bring old issues or past relationships into a marriage. When your wife comes to you to unload or vent, she doesn’t need to hear the emotional baggage of her spouse also. All she wants is support. She is trusting and confiding in you, and that is a compliment. Bring value and understanding to your marriage, not baggage. She needs her time to vent, while your time will come some other day.
If there is issues from your past, whether it be childhood, past relationships or any other psychological trauma, seek some type of professional help. This will help you a great deal in your marriage, because your wife isn’t trained to be your counselor. Don’t let issues spill over into your marriage.
Just listen. When your wife does vent, she really doesn’t want her husband to try and fix anything. She is letting off steam about a situation. Now is the time to practice not to be selfish, and let it be her moment. You will have your time. That’s one of the differences in men and women; a guy wants an immediate, practical solution, while a woman often just wants sympathy. Don’t be the hero and solve all her problems. Just give her a sympathetic ear.
Show respect. No one likes to be criticized. Compliment her on even the smallest things she does for you or someone else. She is then more willing to do more.
Show affection. Most guys don’t like to be touchy feely all the time. But it takes a few minutes out of your day to show some kind of affectionate and it would mean a lot to her.
Give a compliment every now and then. Nobody wants to live with a critic all the time. If you feel the need to be critical, don’t only be critical. Whatever time you spend finding faults in your wife, spend at least that much time finding traits and habits you like about your wife. Then let her know what you think. Positive reinforcement is often a better tactic than negative reinforcement.
Tell your wife that you love her. Even when the two of you are having tough times, she needs to hear this. Even if you’re angry at your wife, you still love her. Sometimes it’s nice for her to hear that, and not just during the good times.
How to Be a Good Christian Husband
Being a good christian husband doesn’t come easily, but is certainly can reap rewards. This takes work each and every day. A christian husband is more in tune with pleasing God than himself. Going to church on a regular basis, reading the Bible, praying for guidance and studying what God wants him to do instead of what he wants.
Letting God guide and direct his ways is humbling for a man, but true Christian humility brings morals and values to a marriage. Having a committed relationship with Jesus Christ will add a deeper commitment to a marriage.
A good husband and father will require balance in your daily life. That means bringing a steady hand to your married life.
Set a routine for your family to follow. Then stick to it and follow through. This will give your family stability and security.
Schedule in some free time to spend with your family, even if it is a few minutes a day, it is still important.
Make time for yourself and for your wife. Set up a date night. If needed, get a babysitter. A marriage is a partnership and the couple time needs that time together without the children.
Plan short trips together. Involve the children in planning.
Get involved with church activities. Most churches offer camps and outdoor adventures for children of all ages.
Rest. After a long work week and the responsibilities of a husband and father, it’s best to eat healthy and to get plenty of rest.
From being single to becoming a husband and in some cases, a father also, you sometimes need to recharge your batteries, take a deep breath and gain some perspective. Just enjoy each and every moment; life it too short not to.
For additional advice check out this article on how to be a good husband.